A reflection by Bryanne Gilkinson

Fifteen years ago I was standing in one of the shelters where Emerge delivered its programs, surrounded by young girls who I had come to care about deeply. I can still remember how tightly they gripped me, holding on, tears in their eyes. After being a small constant in their tumultuous lives, I was leaving them. Truly, I could never have imagined it would be 15 years until I came back to the country, city, and organisation I had once called home. But life has a way of sweeping time away. And so it almost felt like a dream when, in March of this year, I was suddenly there once again. Surrounded by new faces in a different shelter, and yet overcome by a deeply familiar feeling. In truth, I was a bit thrown. So much time had passed, and yet so much was the same. The locked gates, the hot room, the rules, the girls’ expressions. 

The need to protect and uplift these children was so clearly the same, and just as urgent.

This time I would deliver a design thinking workshop to help the girls build problem-solving skills for life beyond the shelter. Drawing upon the deep expertise of the Emerge team, we co-created a ‘day-in-the-life’ journey of a young woman navigating life outside of institutional care. Integrated into the story were five challenges that participants typically experience when they exit the shelters. These included a salary reduction, an abusive relationship, and difficulties with the matron of their boarding house, among others. 

Of course, these children don’t need to learn resilience – to this day they continue to be the most resilient people I have ever encountered. But we wanted them to build skills in identifying a range of ways to solve a particular problem, and confidently manage scenarios when their initial efforts fail.

Theja, Shelter Programmes Lead, provided language translation on my behalf, and once we got started it quickly became clear that she was doing much more. She was adding critical context that made abstract concepts clearer and relatable, ensuring that they not only understood the task at hand – they thrived at it. 

Each group of participants generated scores of potential solutions to the specific challenge they had been assigned. They combined their best ideas with their worst ideas to create something new. They played with applying different angles and perspectives to the issue, striving to brainstorm as many solutions as possible.

And then they made their most promising ideas real. They built physical prototypes of their concepts that forced them to consider the details of their ideas, make choices, and refine their solutions.

A holistic budget with all living expenses delineated to effectively accommodate a reduced salary.

An affordable, nutritious breakfast that could be easily cooked every day.

A script for a two-way dialogue that would build a trusting, safe, and respectful relationship with their boarding house matron.

The hours flew by.

And then it was time for the final presentations. One by one, the groups stood up with their flip chart, post it notes, and prototypes. They presented the original problem, the unmet underlying need, and the reframed design challenge. They shared the dozens of potential solutions they had generated, their prototype, and what they would do next if their initial plan didn’t work. 

Over the past 15 years I have led these kinds of workshops in boardrooms, community spaces, and offsite retreats more times than I could ever try to count. And yet, even though the space and setting could not have been more different, the critical thinking, creativity, and proficiency demonstrated by these girls – survivors who had been robbed of so much in their lives – was exactly the same.

It was thrilling.

And then, suddenly, sadly, it was time to say goodbye. They surrounded me, shared compliments, laughed and giggled. Asked me to come back. And I was overcome.

Even though I was leaving, they knew that the Emerge team would continue to be there for them. Just like they’ve been doing for the past 20 years. So I told them:

“Keep in touch with Emerge. You will see me again.”

In that moment, I saw their expressions ease as they turned to Theja and Ashani, Head of Programmes, to reconfirm how to stay connected once they left the home. And it struck me, once again, just how significant and critical it is that these children can truly rely on Emerge. 

They need adults who not only care for them, but who keep showing up. Week after week, long after they have left the shelters. In the hard moments when they have nowhere else to turn. When they make mistakes. When they need second chances – or safety. When someone they loved has turned on them. When disasters outside of their control destroy everything they know.

When the bottom seems to be falling out. 

But also in the good times. Graduations. Weddings. New businesses. New homes. Growing families. Celebrations.

For the past 20 years, Emerge has been there with these young survivors through it all. There is no expiry date on the help and support shared with them. There are no conditions. At the very heart of the Emerge organisation is a fierce, unrelenting, determined, and deep deep love.

One of the last things I did before leaving Sri Lanka was reunite with one of the earliest participants in the Emerge program. This was someone who had entered and exited institutional care before I had ever stepped foot in Colombo. She and I initially met at an alumni reunion during one of my very first weeks at Emerge back in 2010.

Over the intervening years she had sent me photos of her nursing graduation, her growing children, and the various places she had lived. 

And then, 15 years since we had last hugged goodbye, I was sitting next to her once again. Sharing memories and hugs, catching up on life, and talking about the future. I am acutely aware that this interaction was not predestined or inevitable. All of the significant difficulties of life outside of institutional care – never mind the geographic distance, passage of time, language and technological barriers – made this reunion objectively implausible. 

And yet, somehow, Emerge made it happen. Both through its programming and through the trusted, profound relationships that the team continues to hold with former participants throughout their lives.

The day after I visited the shelter, Emerge had its 20th anniversary celebration. As I stood there at the event, looking at so many faces who had contributed to making the organisation what it is today, I was struck by the cliché that it truly does take a village.

And so, if you have been part of this story– in whatever way, shape, or form – I want to thank you. As someone who has been on the ground, then and now,

I can promise you that your support unequivocally made a difference.

And to everyone who has been part of my own personal journey with Emerge, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It has been truly a gift and the utmost privilege to share this mission with you.

I am eternally grateful. 

And I will be back soon.

🩷

Written and Submitted by

Bryanne Gilkinson

(former Country Manager of Emerge)